Onward toward life as I go…
I now reside in San Diego, I have received two new parents, a mommy and a daddy. They had a child to full term in the fifties but i was still born for reasons that wouldn’t happen in this day and age. My brother, who I owe a debt of gratitude to, is named Michael. I started feeling this even stronger toward Michael as I got older life got more clear as time went on. Without his precious and untimely passing, there would have been no need or desire to have me in this new home where I am now at.
My new mommy and daddy changed my name from Leilon Therese to Mary Janeen, I was issued a new birth certificate with them listed as my birth parents and my new names listed as my birth names but they didn’t change my birth date or my birthplace. I was introduced to my new daddy when he return from his 9 month deployment. But I never really got to bond with him, he did retire from the USN until 19
69. I was 9 years old by then. They couldn’t keep my original name for the first and middle names were chosen for the fact that they were meant to be named after my biological parents’ names. So, new mommy and daddy did the same thing only with initials, lol, Mary after Mommy and the J in Janeen after James for new Daddy. I was brought up from the beginning knowing the whole time that I had been adopted. Mommy always said I was special because I was hand picked. That, I didn’t just ‘happen’, I was actually ‘chosen’ and that’s what made me so special. She always stuck to that story. I never had questions, no curiosity, no wonderment. I never dreamed of ‘what if’s’ having to do with biological parents. This became ‘MY’ biggest mistake and made so
many and so much ‘my fault’! This whole this was a blessing beyond what you could imagine but when people get or got involved it turned into anything from being hurt badly or being grateful to a fault.
Once you realize the family dynamics of these four people and the new grandparents I’ve now acquired this will all become a lot clearer.